The (Not so)Triumphant Return


I have not posted anything in almost a month, and I wanted to give some life-update explanations as to why that is.

On January 22, I flew back to school from California to start my second semester at a university in Pennsylvania. For a couple of days before-hand, I had been feeling pretty ill, and I figured it was just some anxiety and stress about once again having to move across the country. While I was traveling, I was becoming consistently more ill, to the point where I determined that I was probably coming down with some kind of stomach bug or food poisoning. As I was traveling by myself, I was also feeling very anxious and stressed, so I spent most of my time on the plane trying to sleep, and sitting quietly in the airport trying (unsuccessfully) not to cry.

I figured that once I arrived at school and got back into the swing of things, I would start to feel mentally better, and I figured the stomach bug would go away within a couple of days. This was not the case. Thus began a series of several doctors visits at the on-campus health clinic, as well as a couple of trips to the Counseling center in order to try to cope not just with my physical symptoms, but also the anxiety and stress that I just couldn’t seem to shake.

The doctors at the health clinic began testing a bunch of different medications to see if they could alleviate some of my symptoms. None of the medications worked, and from the symptoms I was having, they were beginning to think that perhaps I was either having a problem with my liver or my gallbladder. They ordered an ultrasound, and determined that  if its results were inconclusive, the next step would be to send me to a gastroenterologist to begin testing for more serious conditions such as different forms of IBD (Colitis, Crohn’s, etc.). At this point, my parents and I determined that both for insurance purposes as well as for the sake of all our mental states, that if the ultrasound gave no conclusive results, the best course of action would be for me to take a medical withdrawal from school and move back home.

The ultrasound was inconclusive. I have since moved home again and am now seeing a specialist here in California in an attempt to get some answers and hopefully find out what is wrong with me. This decision was incredibly difficult to make, but ultimately my family and I decided that the physical symptoms that I am having are too disruptive to my physical and mental health for me to be living on the other side of the country trying to keep up with 20 credits of work and classes. While I have not yet been able to make a decision for my long-term education, it is likely that over the summer I will take classes at a local community college, and then I will transfer into a university that is close enough to home to commute. This will allow me to live at home, where it is easier to deal with my physical symptoms, and get the health care I need, while still getting a college education.

Now that I am settled in at home (I just received all 8 boxes that I had to ship home, which I will be unpacking over the weekend), I am hoping that I will be able to return to my normal posting schedule, starting with my January wrap-up, which I completely missed out on. My only worry concerning up-coming posts is that, as a result of all of the stress of the last month, I have not been reading. I finally picked up a “for-fun” book for the first time since January 22 yesterday. I’m hoping that since for the next couple of weeks at least I’m just sitting around at home I’ll start reading more again, but right now I just feel a little bit too sick to focus on reading for longer than a few minutes at a time. I’m going to try, because I do miss reading, but I can’t make any promises.

So, if my posting schedule isn’t what I promised it would be, I’m sorry. I’m going to try my best, but until I can better deal with my health problems, I’m not really sure how much this is going to affect my life.

Thank you for understanding,



2 thoughts on “The (Not so)Triumphant Return

  1. *sending hugs* I hope you feel better soon!

    If you want to have more time to read, might I suggest getting audiobooks from the library? They’ve been a real lifesaver for me with my migraines lately – I can just sit there in the dark and listen. I know it’s a totally different situation, but it might help?

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